I really want this one thing and if I can't get it, I'll be crushed

Sometimes we get so focused on something, perhaps a particular job, partner, or house and we set so much store by it, that we're devastated when it doesn't work out. In other words, when the opportunity vanishes, we tell ourselves, we failed. I am guilty of this kind of thinking and it can cause some pretty destructive anxiety. Well, a coaching friend recently outlined a vision in an upcoming book, a new vision for pursuing what we most want in life. Consider what would happen if you focused instead on what your interests are - on what excites you and gets you going. Let your thinking range far and wide. Brainstorming with a friend is a good practice - they may think of things you didn't and you can borrow from each other's lists. From there, you can see what it is you're interested in that led you to think about a given possibility as the one, and you may even decide that the one isn't the one any longer. From your list of interests you can develop a field of alternative possibilities. For example, you'll have many jobs (or even a job that doesn't exist yet!); many possible partner scenarios; or different types of living situations and homes. When you do decide to go after a particular job (or house or partner) you'll know that you do have other options if this one doesn't work out. After all, it's pursuing your interests that matters, rather than any one particular thing or person. Whew, that's a load off my mind! Thanks to Justin Wright at Habitus Incorporated for these insights.